These are stories I’ve put on Facebook over the years to entertain my friends. Middle schoolers are so amusing.
I love when old classroom stories pop up as memories on Facebook. It reminds me that I have tortured… I mean taught for a long time. A few weeks ago I told one class that they were writing their 3rd essay this year so mama bird is kicking them out of the nest. They all started flapping their imaginary wings. Yesterday I helped in another teacher’s class with many of those same students. When kids started complaining the activity was hard my students chirped up, “But we are baby birds and we need to fly.” The other teacher looked at me with a combination of awe and fear that my students are completely brain washed. I still got it.
Evidence God has a sense of humor- day after Halloween power out for at least on hour at a middle school. I now know this generation will not survive the zombie apocalypse. They freaked out only having natural light and no wifi. The world had ended as far as they knew.
This week while teaching my English Learner class about contractions I talked to them about how a contraction is two words squished together. I asked, “What do we call the mark that shows words are taken out?” (Expecting the kids to yell out Apostrophe!) Instead it’s dead silent except one boy who yells out, “A flying comma!” I told him that was a very true and original description but we’re going to call it an apostrophe.
I taught my classes about end rhyme in poetry this week, I showed four examples, and then told my students to write their own. They melted like sugar cubes in the rain. I finally got so frustrated I said, “I have taught it, now pick up your own education.” There was much grumbling and muttering after that. OK, the kid’s were muttering and grumbling too. The next day they proudly shared their poems and I told them, “See, this is called learning. It takes work. I taught it, you apply it. Tada! Welcome to your education. It should be hard or I wouldn’t need to teach it to you.” They were then excited that the next poem they wrote was “easy” and didn’t need to rhyme. But is was twice as long and they didn’t even notice. Hee hee >:-)
While co-teaching my very challenging Reading Remediation class a student blew up and stormed out of the room. My co-teacher looked at me and sang, “It’s the final meltdown….” and then began humming to the tune of Final Countdown by Journey. We started cracking up. The students did not know the song and were utterly confused.